I’m eminently stalkable on various social media, most actively on Twitter, less so on Facebook (though it’s where you’ll find my photos) and almost never on Google +.

You can email me at my 1995 vintage address Yes, I’m that old.

Want to put a horse’s head in my bed or perhaps send me a valentine’s gift? You need this address: 35B Chardmore Road, London, N16 6JA

If you really need to hear me speak, call me on 07010 706678. Don’t text me on that number, because it won’t work.