Established: Well and Truly
It's a familiar Christmas story. The virgin interviewees travelled from afar to the little town of Oxford having been summoned to be counted. Lo, they did arrive and sought shelter for the night. They arrived at a lodge and knocked on the door. The kind doorman, Geoff had bad news. He had taken orders from the lowly Innkeeper, Rex that "none shall be admitted to the house of Keble, unless they are here for a conference and can pay sixty quid a night".
And so it came to pass that kindly Geoff offered a temporary refuge in the pig sty, known locally as the "Jayseeaar". It was warm, and the hard floor was strewn with crumpled papers. "But you must be out by tomorrow", said Geoff, "as there be a conference of cardiologists in here for three days. And don't expect to get any food, because King Lovett is holding a banquet to celebrate his daughter's wedding"
A bright star shone above the sty that night. An angel of the welcoming committee came unto three Officers of Welfare, "Follow the star and ye shall find babes wrapped in the suits of St Michael". Heeding the angel's words, the three wise men rode toward the sty bearing gifts. And they did announce "We are the Officers of Welfare, and we have wrestled the mighty gods of Keble to bring you the keys to rooms".
And so it came to pass that the poor interviewees were offered warm beds (from the body heat of the quickly vacated conference guests) for the night. They returned to their homelands with this story of woe. To this day it is heard across the lands "If called to the town of Oxford don't try to get in to Keble."
In the interests of Political Correctness, next week rear end will air the view of a less left-wing reader. Watch this space for Mark George's words of wisdom.
Suspicions were aroused early in the vacation/interview period when a mysterious twenty-something "interviewee" from Trinity was affectionately escorted to breakfast by Welfare Officer Vicki Reeves. No doubt the mystery man got up especially early and made the arduous journey from Trinity to experience the world renowned Keble breakfast.
He clearly wasn't what the examiner was looking for. Only days later Miss Reeves was found engaged in further Shenanmugans in attending to more permanent Keble fixtures. Well on paper, if anyone can, Kannon can. rear end asks "What's on the end of his stick, Vic?"
That's what we are doing with our time when we should be revising for our collections!
So bloody well give us some stories - last, unmarked pidge in the lodge.
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